It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
