If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
