the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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