All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
