Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
