i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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