DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize