Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
