Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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