I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize