three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
