She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
