He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
