So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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