I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
