I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
