5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
