it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
