I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
