I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
