He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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