i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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