i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
this just has baby written all over it
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
