Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
