I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
