sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
