Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
