How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize