She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
