you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
