if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
