i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize