Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Yo dont text me then not text me
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
