saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Randomize
