Yo dont text me then not text me
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
is that a dick in a sweater?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
