yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize