I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
