its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
