Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
