drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
