ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
