I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
