physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize
