Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
