I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
