im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Randomize
