I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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