I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
