he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize