not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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