you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
