he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
