Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
