How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
