im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
