Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Quick, to the slutcave!
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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