you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
