i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
