theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
