I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize