dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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