so explain again why im purple
no
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize