i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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