ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
