So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
