Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
two words...techno handjob
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
