OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
