If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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