I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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