Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Randomize
