do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
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