Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I just want nice things and good sex
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
