I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
