party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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