You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
