The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
smell my finger.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
